What I've Learned On My Birthday

June 19th is my birthday, which means calories don't count.

Maybe I'll go to McDonalds today. I used to have parties there when I was younger. Remember when they were cool parties? Someone would take you around the entire restaurant, including the back. You felt special. Now they don't do this anymore, which is a bummer. But I spent two of my birthdays are McDonalds, and I have fond memories:

I've learned a lot throughout my years. And here's just some of the things I've discovered:




1. I hate to cook. I love to eat, but cooking is the worst. I hate being in the kitchen and days when I don't have to cook are some of the happiest.



2. I kill plants. My mother has an amazing garden, but flowers die in my care. I've tried multiple times to keep them alive. One time it was promising: the plant was still alive four months later! I was going strong. And then...well, then it turned brown and croaked.



3. I love to read. I've loved to read since I was a little girl. I was an only child, so when I went into another world I suddenly had many siblings, was in a whole other world, went on many adventures....

4. I watch a lot of reality TV and am embarrassed for it. Teen Mom. Real Housewives. Little People, Big World. Second Wives Club. Toddlers & Tiaras. My husband is usually like, "Are you seriously watching this?" if he happens to catch some of the show. "Uh, no," I lie, eyes glued to the screen as Ramona freaks out on Bethenny Frankel.



5. I love Disney World. If we could afford it, I'd go every couple of months. I feel like a kid again. I feel the excited fluttering in my chest when I see the castle. It truly is magic.

6. I no longer care what people think of me. I used to. I would feel crushed if someone didn't like me. But then I realized those people didn't matter. I say no a lot more without guilt. Life is short. If there's something I don't want to do (like babysitting a friend's baby, I am so NOT a baby person), I won't do it.


7. If I could, I'd have tons of cats. I am a total cat person. We only have two, but whenever I see a cat for adoption, I'm so tempted. But then I remind myself that the cat box already starts to reek with two cats, that there are bits of carpet that is torn up because of the cats, and there's already enough fur on the furniture. I'm totally the person speaking in baby voices when I see a cat at PetSmart or one walking around the neighborhood. "Hi precious, what are you doing today? You are so pretty, yes you certainly are."

8. Some of my favorite movies are: The Sound Of Music, Gone With The Wind, and Beaches. I can never name one favorite movie.


9. I have never had a manicure or pedicure. This is because I have sensory issues and can't have people messing with my nails or have polish on them. I feel weighed down. Maybe I could handle a pedicure, I've just never wanted to spend the money on one. I'd rather buy a book.


10. It takes me fifteen minutes to get ready. This is because I don't wear a lot of makeup. My husband appreciates this. Sometimes when we're with family, he's baffled why some girls take forever. "What's going on?" he'll ask, because he's so used to be being ready to go in less than 20.


11. I don't get a lot of the fashion trends today. The ripped jeans look? The first thing I think is, "Why am I paying money for ruined jeans." Some of the ruffled tops make me think of a clown.  I don't care if the things I wear aren't in fashion. I'm all about jeans and a t-shirts. And flip flops. I don't do heels.

12. I cry easily. It's embarrassing because I'm an ugly crier. Snot pours from my nose and my face turns blotchy. Tommy once asked if I was sick. "Your face is all colored weird."


13. I knew I couldn't have two kids close in age for my sanity. As an only child, I was never used to noise or tiny kids or sticky fingers, so I knew my limits. When my son was 5, I had my daughter.

14. You'll never catch me using words like "wifey" and "hubby." I am just not that person. Cutesy words make me roll my eyes. When people say a movie "got them in the feels" I get up and leave. Joking. I want to leave. But I don't.


15. I'm a grump like Luke from Gilmore Girls and Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy, but I do love my friends and family. I just have a low tolerance for nonsense and I'm terribly sarcastic, which some people don't always understand.


16. No surprise here, I'm an introvert. I'd rather read than go out.


17. I have a phobia of driving on highways. I tend to feel panicky when I do it. I always try to find back ways, even if it means it adds 20 minutes onto my trip. I hate that I have this, because it prevents me from getting to a lot of places so I have to rely on my husband to take me. But it is what it is.


18. I'm obsessed with Diet Coke. I don't drink coffee, so I get my caffeine from Diet Coke. Sometimes friends or family send me posts on how unhealthy it is, and I send them a reply of me drinking Diet Coke. I won't ever give it up. I'm obstinate.

19. I don't do organic only foods. My kids eat Little Debbie snacks. I don't always serve veggies with their meals. What's funny is that I grew up in a healthy household. There were lots of fruits and veggies. My parents claim for the longest time that I thought fruit was candy until I got to preschool and someone told me I was nuts, that CANDY was candy, not fruit. I did not get Little Debbie snacks in my lunch at school, I got string cheese or fruit cups. My friends took pity on me and would sneak and extra Swiss Roll or Twinkie. My parents are confused on why I'm like this. I'm basically proof that you can teach kids to eat healthy, but they might not stick with it when they move out. Hi!


20. I've lived in the following places: New Jersey, Germany, Italy, California, Belgium, Massachusetts, Nebraska, England, Wyoming, Oklahoma, and Texas. This is because I grew up in the military and married a military man.


21. I've always loved to write. I've done it since I was a little girl. It keeps me sane.


22. I love history! It's why I cannot wait for our family vacation to Gettysburg and Williamsburg in August. One day I'd love to go on a Henry VIII tour in England.


23. I'm going to stop writing this because I want to read.



So there's more about me. Oh, did I mention that roller coasters terrify me? Can you guess which one I am?

Also, I prefer to skip rides with drops: