Words I Wish We'd Stop Using In 2016

I'm really feeling my age these days when I see things posted on social media. People are using words that I haven't even heard of. There are some words that make me cringe. Maybe I'd use them if I were a teenager. Maybe. I do remember walking around shrieking "SIKE!"

I can't help but wish the following words would go away forever.

Selfie. I know millions love it. Millions use it. But I can't. It's an awful word that makes me wince. I rank it right up there with the word moist. The word is getting worse, if you can believe it. I read in a magazine that people are now using the hashtag HEALTHIE when they take gym photos. No. Please no. Natalie wanted a shirt that said "Believe in your selfie." I said no way. I can't. My eyes.


Bro. Do men get irritated when people they barely know are all, "Hey bro!" Because I would. I'd be like, "Who the hell ARE you? What's with the bro? Do you even know my name?" Maybe men are spouting "bro this" and "bro that" because they've forgotten their companion's name? I mean, my husband forgets to put the toilet seat down even though I remind him often, so it's plausible..


Bae. I had to look this one up. It means 'before anyone else.' It also means poop in Danish, and this is what I immediately think of when I see a photo tagged with BAE. It takes all my might not to go, "Oh, you're hanging out with poop today? Gross."


Amazeballs. "The Tudors are amazeballs!" Um, not they aren't. They are awesome. Not amazeballs.


Adorbs. "Your daughter looks adorbs!" Sometimes I get this comment when I share photos of her. I always want to say, "Adorable, you mean?"


Jelly. Not the spread. As in "You got a gift card to Target? I'm SOOO jelly!" When I first heard this I really did go, "What?" And the girl was like, "You know, jealous?" And I went, "Why didn't you just say jealous then?" and she had the nerve to blink at me as if I were the crazy one.


On fleek. I had to look this one up too. It means on point. Why people aren't just saying on point is beyond me. People will post a photo of themselves and say something like, "My outfit is on fleek today." I want to say, "You look great. I can't say on fleek. I'm in my thirties."


Totes. Not the storage bin. Totes means totally. I sometimes watch E! News and some of the hosts are around my age and they're all, "She looks TOTES AMAZEBALLS after giving birth only two weeks ago. I'm so jelly!" I really want to tweet them, "I'm sorry, are we speaking teen now? What the hell?"



Maybe it hurts my eyes because I love the English language so much. I still feel a shock when I see a grown adult use the improper your after all. I almost want to text back, "Try again," if someone sends me a text filled with U and UR for you and your.

And I am getting older. I know that's another part of it.

Still. I wish we'd dump all these words before my daughter starts using them. Just the other day she was like, "My friend got a bunch of new Shopkins and I'm SOOOO jelly."

I told her to knock it off. But if these words won't go, I can see her spouting them left and right just to annoy me.

Help.