Meet The Newest Member Of Our Family

"I want to call her Whiskers. Or Mittens. Or Stampycat! Or Princess!" Natalie shrieked.

"Let's call her Lana. Lana from Archer. Laaaaannnnnaa!" Tom chimed in.

"How about Vanessa?" Tommy.

"I like Sansa. Or Louisa May Alcott," I said.

Everyone started talking at once.

"Princess! Vanessa! Lana! Sansa!"

I added, "MC Hammer!" from the movie Beethoven when everyone was trying to name the dog.

But let me back up.

We had decided it was time to give our cat Max a friend. You guys know Max, right?

His full name is Maximus Prime, the furry Transformer.

He's 8.

We headed to the Central Oklahoma Humane Society. Max was also a shelter cat. The place was FILLED with kittens. So many adorable kittens. We went around to each cage. Some cats ignored us. Others pressed their faces against the bars. A few meowed that tiny kitten meow and it made me go, "AWWW!"

Look, I'm a total cat person. I know they can be complete assholes, but then again, so can I. Cats can also be cuddly and wonderful and...okay, assholes when they purposefully push your water glass onto the floor. Still.

So we saw a bunch of kittens, and then we found The One. She kept playing with us when we'd press our hands against her cage. When we walked away and dared to look at other kittens, she'd meow indignantly at us.

"I love her!" Natalie breathed.

"She is pretty cute," I agreed.

"I like her," Tommy shrugged.

"Is this the one we want?" Tom asked.

Yes.

And her name was Elsa, which was appropriate considering the fact that Natalie was once obsessed with the film. But she told us she did NOT want to keep the name Elsa.

"I'm sort of Elsa-ed out," Natalie explained seriously.

I think most of America is.

I filled out paperwork, paid the fee, and then we were given a box with Elsa inside of it.

She meowed the entire way home. Insulted, I'm sure.

When we got home, Natalie lifted her from her box and went, "This is your house now. Don't poop all over it." Max rushed over, concerned. He sniffed the new kitten and....


....hissed. Over and over again. But he did not attack. I watch a show called My Cat From Hell and I know how aggressive cats can be. But all Max did was hiss.

Then it came time to name her. And that's where the issue arose. No one could agree.

"What about Beeps?" I called out.

"Mrs. Pickles?" Tom suggested.

"Her name," Natalie said primly. "Is Whiskers."

"She doesn't look like a Whiskers," I argued.

"What about Cat?" Tommy said.

In the end we came up with something. So everyone?

Meet the newest member of our family:

Ruby Whiskers Beeps. Ruby for short.

We have a Max. And Ruby.