The Middle School World Scares Me

"Are you sure all these kids are sixth grade? A couple of people look like they belong in high school," Tom said beside me, looking baffled as a tall boy with stubble walked past.

"It's just the sixth grade awards," I explained. "So yes, these are only sixth graders."

It's always a bit of a shock to go from an elementary school world, into a middle school one. In the elementary world, there are colorful cartoon pictures on the walls, children without stubble, and kids sporting t-shirts with Disney Princesses on them. In the middle school world, girls were wearing tight tops and many kids wore too much cologne or perfume. The air was thick with Axe.

"I want to go back to elementary school," I whispered to Tom. "I like it better there."

"Why? Middle school means the kids are growing up which means they are almost out of my house," Tom answered.

Seriously.

I had no idea what award Tommy was even getting. I received a letter in the mail stating that he would be getting an award, but it didn't specify.

"Where's my baby boy?" I asked Tom, as clumps of students filtered in. Many looked bored.

"He's not here yet and he's not a baby boy," Tom replied.

"He'll always be my baby boy."

Tom rolled his eyes.

I'm like Beverly Goldberg from the show The Goldbergs. She calls her kids cutsey names, even though they are all over the age of 12. She doesn't like the fact that they are growing up. She says things like this:

We have a lot in common, Beverly and I. I'm still in disbelief that I even HAVE a child in middle school.

"I want to go back to elementary school where the kids still look cute," I muttered to Tom, who once again rolled his eyes.

When Tommy came in, I waved. He flicked his eyes briefly towards us, and walked with his class.

"In elementary school, he'd have acknowledged our presence," I fumed.

Natalie still happily waved when I turned up for her events. "Hi Mommy!" she'll bellow. "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!"

In middle school I imagine it'll all change. I noticed NONE of the kids acknowledged their parents. One Mom tried to get her kid to come over for a photo.

"Mom, NO, stop it!" the girl snapped, rushing past.

Would that be Natalie in a few years?!

"I don't like it here," I said from the side of my mouth.

"You're weird," Tom told me, only because he has no heart.

So the awards show began, and the principal began speaking. At one point she told the students to give their parents a round of applause, because they couldn't do so well without us. A group of sixth graders were nearby and I heard one boy say, "I'm not clapping for my parents. They can go fu*k themselves."

I almost fell off the bleachers.

What? WHAT?

In a couple of years, would my kids be saying that I can go fu*k myself? WHAT WORLD WAS I IN?

The first awards were for the Honor Society, which I was never in, because math is EVIL EVIL EVIL. Tommy didn't get in either, because he inherited my ability to NOT be able to do math. Sorry kid. It looks like Natalie doesn't get math either.

Then each teacher stood up and picked two students from all their classes to get an award for positive attitude and good behavior.

Tommy got one for language arts! He would not look at me:

His teachers always gush on how polite he is. How he tries. He's told me before, "Why are boys my age so rude to adults?"

Tommy seemed nervous going up front. His eyes flicked all over the place.

More awards were passed out. The straight A awards were given. Tommy did not get straight As even though he wants to.

"It's MATH!" he once bellowed.

"I know. I never got straight As either because of math. It's okay son, I'm not a tiger mom, I'm not going to freak."

The final award was the You Can Do It award given to only two kids in the entire 100+ sixth grade.

Tommy got it for the boys.

It meant he had an overall positive attitude and that he tries his best always.

Yay!

And that was it. We could go find our kid and take pictures after, even though Tommy looked a tad mortified to see me coming towards him with a camera.

"My boy!" I gushed and went to kiss him, but stopped when I saw some boys watching and snickering. Middle school can be a scary place; I didn't want to make things worse for Tommy. There are, after all, rude boys.

"Good job," I said diplomatically and shook Tommy's confused hand.

I'm incredibly proud of him. School does not come easy since he has autism. He constantly has to process new things and cope with changes.

But he does it, because he's awesome.

And now he's technically in seventh grade.

My BABY!

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Tiny Kids At Adult Movies

All the adults were enjoying the peace and quiet.

"This is nice," I even said to Tom. "The silence."

And then.

"WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE AGAIN?"

The unmistakable sound of a child.

Who didn't look older than three.

Immediately there were whispers from adults. I said to Tom, "There goes our silence. And also, is Godzilla appropriate for a tiny kid?"

Yes, we were there to see Godzilla. Our kids were in school.

"CAN I HAVE SOME POPCORN?" the kid shouted.

Look, it's not my kid, I get it. If the parents felt it was appropriate to take their son to see Godzilla, so be it. I think the most shocked I ever was was when I saw a small child at Paranormal Activity.

It turned out he wasn't the only kid at the movie. Several other tiny ones filtered in with parents. One was behind us. Joy.

Now, the movie wasn't horrible or anything. But there were scary moments. Like when Godzilla roared, the child behind us went, "THIS IS SCARY!" over and over.

The parent just went, "Shh," and ignored her offspring. Nice. It's okay. I only paid $7 to see this movie. I certainly don't mind hearing your child whine.

During children's movies, I totally comprehend that there will be kid noises. (Mind you, I still expect a parent to remove their child if it's constant noise.) But during an ADULT movie? I don't want to hear your kid. Ever. I'm at an adult movie to ESCAPE children, dang it. I imagine most people who go to movies like that feel the same.

So please.

If you bring your kid to an adult movie, keep it quiet. Do not ignore it!

Please.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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To hope we can stop hearing about Kim and Kanye's wedding. No one cares!


To be watching I Wanna Marry Harry. I'm embarrassed. People ask why I'm embarrassed and it's because sometimes I feel ridiculous watching things like that. But it entertains me. And makes me feel better about myself.


To miss Tom. He left for a military class. The plus? It's close enough that he might be able to come home on weekends. The blah? He won't get to come to the beach with us. And yes, I complained about it in Things That Annoy Me Thursday before.


To have watched Petals in the Wind on Lifetime yesterday. It's the sequel to Flowers in the Attic. I remember reading those books when I was a young teen and being like !!!!! (If you missed it, the movie should repeat today.)


To still be annoyed when people write "Go!" after asking a question on a Facebook group. Just ask the question and leave it at that. I normally won't answer if someone writes "GO!" at the end of their question. I'm a brat that way.


To have been creeped out while watching the entire season of Hannibal. If you haven't seen it, you should! It's been re-newed for another season. Yay!


To be hosting a giveaway for an American Bible Challenge gift pack here.


To have liked the chicken and waffles at Kevin Durant's restaurant KDs. They weren't anything super spectacular, but were tasty. I also tried collard greens for the first time. I'm a fan.

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Thank You

Memorial Day.

Everyone who has fought and died for their country should be remembered. Always.

My Grandpa fought bravely for his country.

My FIL, who unfortunately passed away in his 40s due to a heart attack, was an Army Ranger.

Today we keep our fallen soldiers in our thoughts. Everyone should. This day is not about having a day off or enjoying a BBQ. It's about the people who have helped keep this country what it is today. If we didn't have those brave solders in the World Wars, who knows what we'd have to endure today.


You are all remembered.

Thank you.

Natalie Kicking Butt In An Incredibles Costume From Wholesale Halloween Costumes!

**I was given a costume to review. I was not paid for this post. My opinions are my own.**


Natalie loves princesses.

But she also loves superheroes.

She's a fan Disney's The Incredibles. So when I was given the opportunity to review something from Wholesale Halloween Costumes I picked out a costume from The Incredibles even though they had tons of other girls costumes to choose from (including stuff from Frozen!)

Natalie loved it! She immediately put it on. It came with the bodysuit and the mask. She said it wasn't itchy, which is a Big Deal.

She actually ended up sleeping in it.

"I'm going to get all the bad guys!"

Don't mess with Natalie. She says she'll kick your butt.


If you want your own Incredible costume, you can purchase it here.

Wholesale Halloween Costumes has a wide variety of costumes to purchase. From adult costumes to props and decorations, the website has it all. You can even buy stuff for your pets!


So if you're looking for a costume, check out Wholesale Halloween Costumes!

Looking forward to the movie Maleficent? You can buy a bunch of stuff from that on the site here. My daughter wants ALL the Aurora costumes....

It's The Last Day Of School (Send Chocolate!)

Guys?

Help.

Today is the last day of school for my kids.

Schools in Oklahoma end earlier, thanks to tornado season. School begins again mid-August.

Tommy isn't that difficult. He entertains himself.

Natalie?

Does not like to entertain herself.

She can be stubborn. Taking these pictures? Were not easy.

(The dress is from The Children's Place. I'm a sucker for matching hair accessories.)

I asked her if she was going to be nice over the summer.

I'm scared.

I did ask if we could take some photos over the summer and she went, "Maybe. If there are beans." I'm assuming she means jelly beans?

We'll be heading to my parents house next month, and then to the beach. In July, Tom's Mom is coming to visit. So we'll have a semi-busy summer.

Natalie will have sunglasses that make her look like a oversized bug to wear when the sun bugs her face. (Seriously, she says that. "The sun is bugging my face. Go AWAY, Mr. Sun!" or, "Not NOW, Mr. Sun!")

My daughter is an official second grader.

My daughter also has figured out a way to escape if she doesn't want to take photos.

She jumps the fence and leaves.

"I'm done taking pictures. Have a good day, Mommy. Bye."

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Cooking

I set the lid on the counter.

I guess it was too close to the edge, because seconds later...

CRASH!

That would be pieces of glass. ALL OVER THE KITCHEN.

"This is why I HATE COOKING!" I shouted.

"Are you okay? What was that?" Tom answered from the living room.

"I hate cooking!" I repeated, stomping over to grab the broom.

Tom came in the kitchen. He saw the spray of glass. "If you didn't like the lid, you could have told me. I'd have bought you a new one."

"Ha. Did I tell you that I HATE COOKING?"

Tom took the broom. "Chill. This might be a sign that we need to go out to eat."

He's always hoping we can go out to eat. Some women might be insulted by this. "He doesn't like my cooking!" but I know my meals aren't always the greatest.

"We're not going out to eat. I have chicken marinating."

"Aw." Tom helped me clean up. When we were done he was all, "You SURE you don't want to go out? I can see you're upset.."

"NO!"

If it didn't cost money, of course I'd rather go out, but we have these things called bills.

So I'll continue to cook and break (and burn) things and curse about it.

It's just what I do.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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To not understand when people say they don't find Drop Dead Fred funny (or tell me they've never seen it. You MUST! It's hilarious!)

To have liked the Grey's Anatomy finale, but not be on board with the whole Weber's daughter thing.


To be scared that my kids get off school on Friday.


To hope Tom and I can see Godzilla tomorrow while the kids are in school.


To be glad that other people have the same problem with shopping at Target like I do.


To have a book perfect for a beach read. You can purchase my novel, The Swimmer's Assistant for only .99 cents here! And if you have read it, could you please leave a review? I'm almost at 40 reviews! Thank you so much to those who have.


To be bummed that Enlisted was canceled. I liked that show. It was amusing.


To be excited to go out with my friend Jennifer on Friday. It's her birthday so we're going to try out KDs, which is Kevin Durant's restaurant. I could give a rat's ass about basketball, but there's southern food. And they have fried green tomatoes!


To always tell Tommy not to look so horrified when he gets a haircut. It always scares the barber. I explain that he has autism and that it's a sensory thing.

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Popular Things That Other People Like, But I Don't

I've noticed that I don't seem to care for a lot of the things that people seem to love.

It's okay though. I like that we're all different. I'd be bored to tears if everyone liked what I liked.

Here are some popular things that people seem to enjoy, but I don't.



--Harry Potter. I know. I tried. Seriously, I tried. But wizards just don't excite me. I have some friends that are very appalled by this.


--Coffee. Love the smell. Hate the taste.


--Seinfeld. Again. I tried. I watched several episodes and would think, "Where's the funny bits?" and, "Hey, that dude was in Problem Child."


--Seafood. Don't like the smell. Don't like the taste.


--Mushrooms. They are FUNGUS. No, thank you. I still can't believe that my husband will happily stuff fungus in his mouth, yet he doesn't like pot roast.


--Running. It seems everyone around me wants to do these color runs or fun runs (which makes me laugh, because running is not fun.) They post pictures of themselves covered in mud from a mud run and I'm thinking, "WHY?" I know some are for charities, which is awesome, but I'll just donate to said charity. I will not run, get muddy, or get color blasted on me.


--Adam Levine. He does nothing for me. His music hurts my ears.


--Saying the world "selfie." I'll never like it. Never. It really is okay to post a photo of yourself and not go, "Selfie!" And I see there's a new show starting this fall called Selfie. I'll pass, just because of the title.


--Singing competition shows. Yawn. Boring. They waste too much quality air time on channels. I hope the craze for these dies down so we can get some proper TV shows.


--Wearing high heels. I only wear them for special occasions. I'd never just put them on for fun or for running errands.


--Calling people "preggo" or "preggers" when they are pregnant. Prego is a kind of spaghetti sauce and preggers makes me want to claw my ears off. It's pregnant. Or with child. Or in the family way. Why do Americans insist on making words so cutesy? (See: Selfie.)


So are there any popular things that YOU don't like?

Stuff I Probably Don't Need At Target

It never fails.

I go into Target thinking that I'll spend less than $20--after all, I only need a couple of things.

Then at the checkout I'm told, "That'll be $102.52."

I'm all,

Source

"How did that happen?! I came in to buy a HOSE and WRAPPING PAPER!"

As the cashier shrugs in a manner that tells me she does not care, I gaze at all my bagged items. Did I black out? Where did all these things come from?

I had to think back to everything I looked at as I paid with my Target Red Debit Card (I mean, duh, of course I'd have one of those. You save an extra 5%!)

I believe I know what happened.

It all starts with the Dollar Spot.

You know, that area that has a bunch of stuff for a buck? (Or $3. Or $5. But I gravitate towards the dollar items.) Before I know what has happened, I have 5 things in my cart.

Then I think, books! I'll go look at the books.

I should never go look at books, because then I'll find 3 that I feel like I must read.


I also decide to check out the toys, just in case something new is in.

I think, they'd love those Minecraft animals. Oh, and the sword! But the sword is $24.99? What? It's just a little bit of foam, am I right? Is there gold in the foam? I probably spent like 10 minutes trying to figure out why a foam sword is so much money. (I not only lose track of money in Target, but also time..)

I'll check out housewares next, thinking that it's time that our house begins to look more grown up. I mean, most of our stuff doesn't even match! I marvel at the decorating blogs and wonder why I don't have the same decorating gene. Wasn't I supposed to get one since I have a vagina?

I'm not going to lie, I buy something like this, and then it sits around for ages because I can't get Tom to put anything up. I'd do it, but my things come out crooked. Even if I use the laser straightener thingy. I mess it all up. We have a pile of house stuff in the garage.

Weirdly, I'll suddenly get a craving for cake and end up in the bakeware area.

Even though I don't even like to bake. But I think, "Maybe I like to bake now. Look at all these things! And from the Cake Boss!"

It'll occur to me that I'll never create fancy cakes or like baking, but I think, "Hey, I can still have my house smell like a cake!"

And I end up in the scent aisle. I don't know why these things excite me. They confuse my husband. He'll come home from work and be all, "Mmm, are you making cookies?" and I'll say, "No, I just pooped and used a spray that smells of sugar cookies. Sorry."

After loading up with new scents, I'll check out Natalie's clothes section. There is always something I want for her. Girl clothes are adorable. I mean, look at the crown of flowers! Perfect for the summer, no? Although, what if a bee lands on her head when she's wearing them? She'll freak. I'll freak. She'll be running for me to help, I'll be running away from her because bees are horrible, horrible things, and they killed Thomas J.

I'll feel like I've burned a lot of calories while shopping, so I'll end up in front of the ice cream.

I'll probably get two tubs.

So really, it's no wonder why my bill is so high when I go to Target. I need to stop looking everywhere. If I need to go to the store, I should focus on only going to the place where the items I NEED live. I can do this, right?

Right?!

No. I cannot.

Target, you'll win every time, much to the confusion of my husband. 

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: A Bad Parent For Not Going Into The Shelter?!

So I was having a dream where I finally met John Krasinski. I was telling him all about my love for chocolate and slushes with Nerds in them, and he opened his mouth, prepared to tell me all about his favorite things....but when his lips fell open, a shrieking sound came out.

"John, I know, Nerds in slushes is a new concept, but I promise, it works," I assured him.

And this is when I woke up and realized it was not John shrieking at me, it was the tornado sirens.

I sat upright and nudged Tom, who was fast asleep.

"I don't want to die," I said loudly. "I don't want to die!"

I scrambled over him to reach for the remote.

"What the FU*K?" he bellowed.

I mean, I can't blame him, I wouldn't want to be woken up by someone shouting that they don't want to die and then have a human body draped over me.

I switched on the local news and the weather dude said that there had been a brief small (F0) tornado nearby, but it was gone now, and there was no reason to go into shelters anymore.

I let out a breath of relief. I had pictured a tornado coming towards us. We'd have to grab the kids, the cat, and push my pile of crap off the shelter. (Note to self: get the pile of crap OFF the shelter..)

I checked another news station and was told the same: there was no reason to panic. That meteorologist even stated that he wasn't sure why our sirens were even going off.

You'd think this meant we could go back to sleep, but no, the sirens kept going off, and then Tom had to stand outside and watch the hail storm. At this point Tommy woke up on his own, having heard the sirens, and was excited.

"Can we see the wall clouds? Is there a tornado coming?"

"No. We're okay. We can go back to bed," I said.

"But the wall clouds!" Tommy answered, looking out his window.

He's obsessed with the weather, you see.

Natalie slept through it all, thank goodness, because when she's up, she's UP, and she feels the need to tell you her life story.

After all the excitement, I was wide awake, so I browsed the local Facebook pages and began to see the posts that basically said, "All you people who didn't bring your kids into the shelter when you heard the alarms are BAD PARENTS!"

I really wish I could stay away from posts like that but my fingers were itching to reply. So they did. "Three news stations told me there was no threat, so I didn't go into the shelter. I don't feel guilty for this." Others agreed with me. But then you got the crazy people who were like, "But the alarms were going off!"

"For no reason! The weather dude even said so!" I answered.

Don't get me wrong, I panic about things, hence the "I don't want to die!" yelp in Tom's sleeping ear, but if three news guys were telling me all was okay and showing me the colored map with no scary colors over our town, I'm not going to get my kids up, grab the cat, push my crap off the shelter, and go into it.

Trust me, we spent A LOT of time in our shelter last May. Moore is 20 minutes away from us and it was slammed last year.

It just annoyed me that you had these parents saying if you didn't put your kids in the shelter, that you're a bad person.

I stand by what I said: there was no threat, therefore I wasn't going to wake my kids. We're on a military base so they sometimes panic when there is no reason to do so.

So yes, I will always pay attention to the news before heading into the shelter.

There are bugs down there, you see.

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up and that the post you link up is a Hey, It's Okay Post. Grab the button if you'd like!
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To be annoyed that Monica Lewinsky is back. She says she wishes she had more support? I don't know, maybe don't mess with the president, let alone a married man? Hello? Could she just bury the beret and her mouth?


To have not watched the NFL Draft. Luckily my husband doesn't care either. It's hard to get excited when these people make millions of dollars for playing a game, yet our troops are paid horribly for defending the country.


To have liked the new birthday cake shake from Steak N Shake. It did taste like a birthday cake!


To wish Oklahoma would pick a temperature and STICK with it. It's gotten chilly again after we've had 80-90 degree weather. Mind you, at least we didn't get snow. At our last base in Wyoming, they were dumped with snow. No thanks!


To be glad that Parenthood was renewed--but I'm also bummed, because it'll be the last season of the show.


To hope that this Grey's Anatomy on Thursday is the final episode of Cristina. I keep thinking the episode I'm watching is the last but nope, she pops up in the following one. This probably makes me heartless.


To get irked when I get an e-mail saying, "FREE SHIPPING!" but then in tiny letters it says, "If you spend $50." Don't put free shipping unless it's really FREE SHIPPING.


To have enjoyed a lovely Mother's Day. I got flowers (you can see on my Instagram) as well as this pretty necklace. Totally unexpected. Tom suddenly was like, "I've gotta go," when when were at The Disney Store. I thought he was rudely escaping and leaving me with a child who's all, "I want this...and this.." Turns out he returned with a bag from Zales!

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In Which I *Think* My Husband Liked His Birthday...

I've written before how my husband doesn't get excited about his birthday.

Or anything, really.

It might be the soldier in him. I don't know.

He reminds me of Kimball Cho from The Mentalist. Cho is ALWAYS serious.

Still, I always try to make his birthday special. I ordered him this awesome cake from a fellow military wife:

No, it's not because he's my lobster like on the Friends episode. I mean, he IS, but I got this cake because we always laugh when the lobster dances on Family Guy.

I think it amused him. He went, "Is that lobster on the cake?" when I showed him.

He wanted to go to Joe's Crab Shack for his birthday dinner. I do not like seafood but he loves it.

No, really, he does love his king crab legs, despite his face.

I was all, "Be silly! Come on! It's your birthday!"

Well, it's something...

Since I had to sit in a room that reeked of seafood, I ordered this:

That would be a pina colada. Of course as I sipped it, Tommy kept going, "Are you going to get drunk in front of us? That's inappropriate." I assured him I would not get drunk and he'd fall silent and go, "Are you feeling okay? Can you see me?"

Tom seemed to enjoy his meal.

Then it was time to return home and open presents! I would have opened presents first thing but he was all, "I'll just wait until later."

Perry for the Disney Infinity game. Natalie makes us play with her.

A Cleveland Browns hat. And yes, he's well aware that they suck, but each year he hopes..

A Cleveland Indians grill cover. Again. See above.

And a thingy so he can listen to music from his iPad.

He said he liked everything but sometimes it's hard to tell when he doesn't squeal or jump around with excitement like I do.

It's just who he is. I'll be the silly one in the relationship.

Need Glasses? Check Out Firmoo.Com!

Wearing glasses can be fun.

I'm a big fan of sunglasses. I used to have to wear regular glasses before I got Lasik. Firmoo is a site that has all kinds of glasses. They occasionally even offer free glasses!

I ordered these glasses:

They came with a case, a repair tool, a cleaning cloth, and a quick carry case. I've done reviews for Firmoo before and am always impressed on what all comes with the glasses.

They fit nicely. And no, I don't have something going on with my eye, I forgot to take off the Firmoo.com stamp on the lens. The glasses were comfortable and fit nicely. Natalie actually wanted them. If you want a pair of your own, you can order them here!

I also liked these blue glasses, and bonus, they are only $10! 

Firmoo has all sorts of fun styles with affordable prices. They also have excellent customer service.


To find out more about Firmoo, you can LIKE their Facebook page.

You can also FOLLOW them on Twitter.

**I was given a free pair of glasses for an honest review. I was not paid for this post. My opinions are my own**