Yes, I admit it.
I watch those Real Housewives. Only they aren't exactly real. Many of them have fake mouths, breasts, faces, etc. Sometimes to the point where it's distracting.
I'm talking to you, Taylor Armstrong.
I could never be on the Real Housewives show because of the following:
--My husband wouldn't tolerate the cameras. I'm always amazed at the husbands on the show who go along with the nonsense. If a woman tried to verbally attack me, my husband would immediately jump up and go, "That's ENOUGH. Have you been to war? No? Then all this BS is NONSENSE. And also, your face is scaring me." His expression would be like this whenever a camera entered the room.
He'd shout, "Can't a man take a dump without a camera wondering what's going on? I'm shitting. That's what's going on."
--My son wouldn't understand why the cameras wanted to film us. And then he'd want to know how the cameras worked. "Can I see the inside of one? Please? Can I see the inside of one?" Or he'd ramble on about his Animal Crossing game. "If you have the game, can I have your friend code?" He'd be very matter-of-fact, like that kind from Kindergarten Cop, which would not interest the producers, who are looking for bratty kids a la one of Teresa Guidice's girls..
--My daughter would want to perform the entire time. They'd remind her to just act like the cameras weren't around but she'd say, "I can't. I see them. All around me." And then she'd start singing songs from Frozen. In her Elsa dress. At the top of her lungs.
--My hair looks like this most of the time:
I always marvel how put together everyone looks on the show.
--Our house is the size of a bathroom in Lisa Vanderpump's home. Seriously. There isn't a lot of extra space.
--Our cat would not tolerate being a dressed up prop like Giggy the dog. We tried putting him in antlers over the holidays and he was not pleased. He promptly puked near my slipper. I think he was aiming to puke IN IT but missed.
So no. I could never be on The Real Housewives of Texas.
We'll stick to a no-camera life, thanks.
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We don't have cable anymore, but when we did I watched from time to time. I loved the first season of the Real Housewives of OC because it did show a bit of real life in the "other" world.
ReplyDeleteThese days it is so over acted and scripted that there isn't anything real about it!
I couldn't do it either- not just for the reasons you mentioned, but also because my house is in a constant state of disaster. I'd lose the camera men in the mess.
ReplyDeleteI am laughing out loud at the photo of Helena Bonham Carter's hair.
ReplyDeleteAnd I bet she did that on purpose.
I used to joke about making a real housewives of the Pioneer Valley (where I live) show.
SO funny! I wouldn't be a good RH either .. because I can't hide my emotions and plot like they do. If I think you're an evil bitch, I wouldn't be able to save it for the interview. My RH tagline would probably be, "Hi, my name is Jodi, and I'm a blurter."
ReplyDeleteThis post was hysterical!
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't either for those same reason....except add
ReplyDeleteMy dog would pee on every piece of lighting equipment, and minus the husband but keep everything he would say.
I couldn't either....It seems so staged anymore. Who are these people not very real to me!
ReplyDeleteI think I'm with you on that. I couldn't even act like Honey BooBoo on TV either. You made very good choices of clips to represent what you meant *applause*
ReplyDeleteIt would drive me crazy, too, but some people are just attention hungry.
ReplyDeleteI agree, those housewives are so fake. I don't get it....do men really find that attractive????
ReplyDelete"The Real Housewives of Orange County" is one of my guilty pleasure shows. I've watched it from almost the beginning of the series, so now I just want to see what happens!
ReplyDeleteYou're so totally right though, it's funny to see how the ladies change season to season from all their plastic surgery. "Oh, Gretchen got new lips!"
Bwahahahaha. Helena Bonham Carter is my hair inspiration, too! I'd never make it on one of those shows!! (and I love that GIF of the over performing singer so much, I'm thinking of marrying it.) --Lisa
ReplyDeleteMy favorite are the housewives of New York - funny since most of them aren't even wives!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely not "classy" enough to be on one of those shows!
This is a great post, made all the better by the great gifs to go along with it!! Especially Dean...mmmmmm.....
ReplyDeleteI think we're entertaining enough to have a show, but I don't have the energy to look good and keep our house looking good for the cameras. I agree with you, we'll stay off camera.
ReplyDeleteI feel weird enough with the blog. I care way too much what other people think- no way could I be on TV.
ReplyDeleteYour post made my day!!!! I am glad you are not on the show but you ARE writing this blog:)
ReplyDeleteMaria
www.musicteachingandparenting.com
Love the gifs!
ReplyDeletegifs make my Friday happy.
cameras in my home would not.
We are entirely too normal, and thus uninteresting.
Gee, I can't even be a train wreck properly. *side-eye*
Not just the Housewives being scripted, but I couldn't ever be on a show like Wife Swap either. I think they purposefully swap the most opposite couples they can find for the reason of creating drama. Drama brings viewers and that's what sells. I don't think society tries to keep up with the Joneses anymore. Sometimes we are just glad we Aren't the Joneses...
ReplyDeleteNo cameras here either.
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ReplyDeleteAgree with you on the size of our place... it's a one bedroom apartment. I meannnn... no one is going to be featuring us in Architectural Digest anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteOkay, those lips... they're out of control. And she'd be pretty if she'd left them alone. I covered up the bottom part of her face with my hand to check, hahaha
This is perfect, LOL.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want cameras in my house but, I think they wouldn't want to be here either.
We are unkempt, I guess you could say. Our house is tiny and we share it. My kids do not react well to cameras and they would have to bleep out 95% of the shit I say anyway.
Nope, no Real Housewives for the Mad Mommy.
I lost it laughing at your kitty in the antlers, Amber!!! LOL! And the new season of "Dallas" just started and I LOVE it. Guilty pleasure tv. Great post! :)
ReplyDeleteI've never watched any of the Real Housewives shows but I enjoyed this post. Made me laugh :)
ReplyDeleteI've honestly never watched any of those shows. I watch plenty of garbage TV, just not that particular brand. Those women scare me...their faces look like melted Barbies.
ReplyDeleteMy husband wouldn't tolerate it either. They wouldn't know what to do out here, with my husband trying to shoot hogs and deer out of the kitchen window. Culture shock!
I wouldn't be able to be on a show either... but I would like to see Natalie with her own show...I think it would be entertaining =)
ReplyDeleteLol! I love this! The GIFs always get me, especially when they are well placed within a story like this. It was wonderful chatting with you today during the SITS chat on Twitter!
ReplyDeleteHahaha I laughed out loud the pictures did me in! I couldn't do it either Id get annoyed by the cameras and I wouldnt deal with the drama
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you on this one (at least for me!) I know filming our family would be so awkward for the kids. And let's be honest, who acts the same when the cameras come on?
ReplyDeleteI know I'd censor myself a bit just because half the things I say aren't worth repeating.
I totally agree. I couldn't do it either.. half the days I don't have to work, I don't bother to get dressed. I think people would get sick of seeing me in my pajamas daily.
ReplyDeleteI like to watch them because I'm amazed at what people with money live like and act like. Then I have totally decided its fake so I'm just waiting for them to crack a smirk. It's a life I will never have and I'm ok with that. If they did a show on average mom's or less then I'm not sure how many views it would actually get. Do you want to see my trip to the mall or Walmart? Going out to eat at Paneras is not half as exciting either. Wouldn't know where to begin to make it exciting.
ReplyDeleteSo funny as I've never watched real housewives, so it was cool to learn about the silliest things they do on the show. Guess I always thought it was about the women & had no idea that other family members are on the show as well, so totally understand why that wouldn't work for most everyone.
ReplyDeleteRH are my guilty pleasure for the sole purpose of making me feel better about myself and to solidify that women in general are wacko. These shows are so staged and everyone has hair and makeup before filming done so you wouldn't have to worry about that!
ReplyDeleteHahahah, I would much rather see a reality TV show about all of the above than watch a Real Housewives episode, to be quite honest! :)
ReplyDeleteHAHAHa, my hair looks like that most of the time too! Plus think these women just embarrass themselves! Not to mention my hubby would not allow it..
ReplyDeleteI've always found it hilarious how some people idolize these women. I mean, don't they have babysitters and get paid to look a certain way throughout the year?
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you at all. I like to watch stuff like that sometimes (I don't watch reality shows but I do love a ton of vloggers), but I just can't imagine living a life with a camera in my face all time. Or running into MYSELF on a tv screen. *SHUDDERS* Nope.
ReplyDeleteI tried watching that show and turned it off after 5 minutes. I like reality tv but didn't find anything interesting about that show. I think it would be very awkward for me, too, with the cameras watching my every move. I guess I'm not that exciting, lol!
ReplyDeleteThats too funny. I wouldn't want to be on the show either. My life is too real.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. I could never be on Housewifes too! My husband hates pictures, just that, Imagine a videocamera haha.
ReplyDeleteSo funny! LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm dying laughing here and I feel the same way. I used to love to watch them especially RHOC in the beginning but now it just teaches women to hate.
ReplyDeleteI think you have a cute size living room. I couldn't imagine being on the show either and I don't watch it but my mom does.
ReplyDeleteI swear you have the funniest post ever! I completely understand about the cameras around you 24/7. It would be a mess for my life as well lol
ReplyDeletexoxo
Isaly Holland
www.memoriesbyisaly.com
I love your post! Even if you didnt have a huge house...I bet you do not have to deal with all their drama. I have never watched the show but I might have to!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing real about those shows and people should stop envying the women on them. I'm sure they don't even like themselves.
ReplyDeleteHaha, anything on TV shows are scripted and fake.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I couldn't do that show, I'm just not that... um, well... I'm a real housewife. :P
ReplyDeleteI stumbled that show twice, and tried watching it for two episode because of boredom, and its soo funny because od their BS drama. And I stopped watching it when my Dada saw me watching and gave me an odd look, lol
ReplyDeleteWith you on that!!
ReplyDeleteI honestly never really watched the show because I couldn't handle all of the drama lol - real REAL life is much more interesting :)
ReplyDeleteLol I hear you. I could never be on the show either! I hate being filmed and being on camera makes me feel awkward.
ReplyDeleteomg! LOL the whole time reading this, agree with the hair, i never comb my hair unless i need to go out. also, my house is very small now, its only the size of our master bedroom back in malaysia,
ReplyDeleteHahah I feel exactly the same. I can't imagine how those women can handle being recorded all of the time, that seems so stressing
ReplyDeleteI agree, I wouldn't even want to be on it lol
ReplyDeletehaha it's so true... there are better uses of my time too!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Tyler
http://www.feeltheesunlight.com/
ROFL, too funny. I'm totally with you. I don't understand why those husbands let their wives talk to themselves like that. The money can't be worth them being disrespected.
ReplyDeleteH aha love this and so true I admit I love to watch them but they are not real at all. They are all fake and more bothered about money and how they look to others.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this and I can relate somehow. I also have messy hair all the time! But I love being a wife and mom! :)
ReplyDeleteMhaan <3 | Mommy Rockin' In Style - Beauty and Mommy Blog
Hysterical! I can only imagine how your son would want to treat the cameras like a science experiment lol. I would have totally been the same way as kid.
ReplyDeleteYour reasons are so funny and so true! I wouldn't be able to be on the show either!
ReplyDeleteSuch a funny post and I am with you on this as I too could never be on that show. I think it is just a scripted show where almost everything is fake and I always wonder how many still like it!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be able to tolerate the cameras and it would be a disaster! I think it's better to leave that show where it belongs. Lol! This was a fun read though, thanks for sharing your thoughts. ---For Elizabeth O.
ReplyDeleteI've never watched any of the Real Housewives shows but I would love to watch them! Sounds so funny!
ReplyDeleteThis was hilarious. I'm with you, I can't stand going to the hair stylist every month let alone have a stylist tinkering with my hair and makeup every. single. day.
ReplyDeleteThey're so coiffed and made up all the time. Who wants that kind of nonsense? I'm all about jammies, no makeup and a sloppy ponytail.
ReplyDeleteBahaha! This is so great! I love it!
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny .I have never watched the show and I am a struggling working mom.There's no way I could always look glam and make my home perfect too.It's a struggle
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I've never even heard of that show! If I was on the show, It would be an hour clip of my husband and I sitting at our laptop blogging and eating.
ReplyDeleteI could not be on this show either. I am never as put together as those other women and my husband would definitely be like yours.
ReplyDeleteHEHE all very good reasons. My hubby and kids puts up with me and my camera but I doubt they would put up with it if it was a daily thing. My hair is always a mess too. I just can't! LOL
ReplyDeleteHahahaha when I was younger I use to dream about being on such shows. Now that I'm married and have a kid lol.... I would be in the tabloids every week for how crazy my family is lol... I can picture it now lol.... no thankyou lol....
ReplyDeleteHahaha I totally relate. Sometimes I think being on a reality show and getting paid to literally exist would be fun... but then I realize that I would have to be watched... all... the... time... no thanks!
ReplyDelete